Its been 1 year.

Jeremy I can't believe on the 5th it has been one year already. You would of been 1 years old. We came and saw your gravestone on the 5th and today. Its hard to believe you came and gone so quickly. I hope one day I can hold you again my sweet child. I wanted you  to be here with us so badly. I pray that one day they have a cure for your birth defects.


Love you always and forever,
mom

What's going on lately.

A few weeks ago Jeremy's grave stone was put it. It looks really good. It makes me feel so much better that it is in place. Will post pictures soon. My one son will be going to kindergarden, he is really excited.  My step-son will be in a special needs first grade. I will also be attending college again this fall. 

So I have been thinking what really caused these birth defects in Jeremy? When  I was pregnant with Jeremy I was on some medications. I really think this is what caused it. I have one healthy son who is 5. I was not on any medications when I was pregnant with him. I hope one day they find what causes these birth defects. That way more families will not have to suffer and lose a loved one.

Take care and thank you for reading my blog. This helps me deal with the loss of my son. To write it out. Because when you lose a child sometimes other people do not want to me reminded of it day after day. It makes them too sad. Well this is my life and this is how I cope.

To Jeremy in a month it will be 1 year. I can not believe it has already been this long. I hope one day to hold you again. 

Love MOM

In a few weeks Jeremy will have a gravestone!

I have been busy with school and our family. We ordered Jeremy's gravestone last month and we are waiting for it to be put in. I am so happy to finally have it here. I felt so bad to have nothing there. About the benefit I am going to wait. I wanted to do a 5k, but I got in contact with a few people and there are things I didn't even consider. So I am going to wait. I will do it, but I want it done the best way possible. Also, I should try and get a few 5K's under my belt too! If people would like to donate on the side of this blog there is a link which goes directly to research for CDH and EA/TEF. So if you would like to donate in the memory of my son I would really appreciate that. Hopefully one day these birth defects will not exist. Thank you!

 Jeremy we love you and miss you so much. I wish I could go back in to time and make it so you were healthy, happy and alive with us now. In a few months it will be one year. I can not believe its already been that long. To me it seems like yesterday you were kicking away in my belly. I hope your in heaven and one day I can hold you and tell you how much I love you. That you really made me realize how valuable life really is. To live in the moment and to be more positive. I started out as a negative person and in the end you helped change to be more positive, be happy about life and not worry about things that we have no control over. Thank you Jeremy R. Nolan you were only here for a short time but you really made me a better person. I will always love you.

Thank you to all the followers and vistors to Jeremy's CDH blog

Just want to say thank you to everyone. For the sweet comments when Jeremy passed and we had to figure out the funeral. Also just for all the people that take the time to look at Jeremy's blog. It really means alot to me and our family. I am sure Jeremy in heaven really likes it too. I am doing this blog to just create more awareness about these birth defects and also share our story on it.


Thanks
Jesse

Wanting to do a fundraiser in the memory of Jeremy

I have been thinking I really would like to do a fundraiser in memory of my son Jeremy. I am thinking in august sometime. It would be around when he was born and passed. I have some ideas of what I would like to do. I just want any money donated to go to the research of CDH. I am going to also look in to the other birth defect to EA/TEF. So keep a look out there might be something on the blog too for donations. I am also looking into that. Well thank you for reading and keeping up with Jeremy's story. I just hope I can make a difference so other parents don't have to go through this or that this blog helps them too.


Thanks
Jesse

The Band Perry - If I Die Young

Poems that I found online about a child dying

You are a Precious Child

Created out of love,
a blessing from above.
I've adored you from the start,
and your little footprints
touched my heart.
A single teardrop represents the
millions I have cried
My life never the same since you died.
I wish you could have stayed
longer with me,
I'd watch you grow into
all you could be.
Although we are apart,
Your are Always in My Heart.
I dream of a joyful time when
we will be reunited once again.
Thoughts of you make me smile.
You will always be My Forever Child™
 ~© Susan Mosquera~


Babies are angels that fly to earth, their wings disappear at the time of their birth. One look in their eyes and were never the same, it's a little one we created and gave a name. Little eyes open, an everlasting bond, as we hold him while he slips onto the beyond. A bond we now have that will never sever, as our baby is now an Angel that we will love forever.
-unknown

"These are my footprints,

so perfect and so small.

These tiny footprints

never touched the ground at all.

Not one tiny footprint,

for now I have wings.

These tiny footprints were meant

for other things.

You will hear my tiny footprints,

in the patter of the rain.

Gentle drops like angel's tears,

of joy and not from pain.

You will see my tiny footprints,

in each butterflies' lazy dance.

I'll let you know I'm with you,

if you just give me the chance.

You will see my tiny footprints,

in the rustle of the leaves.

I will whisper names into the wind,

and call each one that grieves.

Most of all, these tiny footprints,

are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.

'Cause even though I'm gone now,

We'll never truly part."

~Unknown

Will I know my baby when we meet again?
Will he have grown up, not be the infant that died in my arms?
Will I recognize him, be able to find him among so many others?
Or will he be a stranger to me, not knowing who I am,
or me knowing him?

Do babies grow up in heaven?
He never got his first tooth, or said his first words.
No first shoes, no Santa, no first birthday cake.
Will my son still be a baby when we meet again?

Do babies grow up in heaven?
Who sings him precious lullabies?
Who holds him close and kisses him everyday?
Who tells him constantly that they love him?

Do babies grow up in heaven?
When we next meet, will he know me?
Will he want to know me?
Will he be my son who died at three months, or a man, fully grown?
Will I have the joy of being a mother to my son for all eternity?

Do babies grow up in heaven?
Will I be able to hold him, love him, sing lullabies to him?
Will I be able to hold his tiny hand, or will it be a man's hand?
Will I ever have the joy that only holding my son can bring?
I need to know! In heaven, is my baby still a baby?
-unknown

I called St. Louis back

I called the other day. (SSM Cardinal Glennon Children's Medical Center ) The doctor Dr. Yang would like to do a research study on CDH babies. They would like to use Jeremy's medical information. I think it would be a good idea. So they will send me a copy of the scientific article when it is done. They would like to find better ways to take care of CDH babies and to understand them.

I love you and miss you Jeremy. 

Recieved a call a few days ago

The hospital in St. Louis SSM Cardinal Glennon Children's Medical Center would like to do a study on Jeremy. So they left me a message to call back and to see if I want to be in the research. So I will call monday and see what it includes. I would like to find out why this happened to Jeremy. Also what can prevent these birth defects.